dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
