Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
