You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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