Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
