Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize