M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize