turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
