Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
