it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
