Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
