I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think your dad took our porno
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
