Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
