Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
