I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
