would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
