I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
it's like heaven, but drunker
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
