you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
