Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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