I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Everyone says I win the strip club
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
