You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
