shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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