He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she told me i tasted like america
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
