I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
My vagina just clenched in fear
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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