Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
