Ketchup is God's man juice
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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