"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
