wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
