almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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