I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
