: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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