Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
