My sheets look like a crime scene.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
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