The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize