We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
