Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
