Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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