You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
