chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Terrible idea I love it
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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