i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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