I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
