Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
only you would photoshop your dick
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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