Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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