There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
