i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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