Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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