I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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