Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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