Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Walk of Shame today included voting.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
my poor anus
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
