bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
zippers are such a cool invention
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
