My friends, they love my intelligence
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
