He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
