he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
