Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize