Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
