drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
