There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
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