I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
