omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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